Unspoken Fear
by katdancer
Summary: Chapter 6 Posted, May Change Rating to M. Sequel to "A Silent Cry" Those of you who have read that one kindof know where this picks up. I am back for a while. Still dealing with my own demons as Christine battles hers. More musical based but still a little AU. No Flames please.
1. Past a Silent Cry

Unspoken Fear

Erik started to let me go up into the main part of the opera house again when Madame Giry said that I had been cast in the next production to be Prima Donna. I hadn't self injured in a month and my angel considered that "great progress" I still felt low about myself and hated to go to rehearsals with everyone because they all stared at me. Whispers still floated about when I would enter for practice. It was during one of these moments that I had one of the first breakdowns in a long time.

* * *

"Has anyone seen Mlle. Daae?" Firmin announced loudly for everyone to hear. "She hasn't been seen since before we took a break for lunch. If anyone sees her or knows of her whereabouts, please let me know." Meg's ears perked at the name of her best friend's absence.

"Monsieur Firmin, she mentioned to me that she was not feeling well and would continue her rehearsal with her tutor. She didn't look well at all to me Monsieur, I think it is best if we leave her be."

"Very well then, thank you little Giry, let me know when she is feeling better again and we will rehearse the larger full cast numbers then." Firmin scratched his head wishing their star hadn't taken ill for the previous opera. Mme. Giry had told Firmin the smallest amount of information that she could about Prima Donna Daae. Her injuries were the first to be told and that she had fallen ill to a stomach virus which would prevent her from performing unless changes were made. Mlle. Daae would rehearse solos with her tutor and big scenes with him. It was also brought to their attention that Mlle. Daae was put under too much pressure and that it would ruin her performances, she was to have a break whenever she felt because before she would tell no one that something was wrong or overwhelming her.

* * *

I couldn't believe that I let what they said get to me. I was sitting on the floor in front of my mirror in the dressing room. I was shaking, trying to not go into a full panic attack, but it came anyway despite my wishes. The ensemble members were making fun of me. Spreading rumors that were mostly true. How I had become so thin, that I would cut myself in order for the "Opera Ghost" to love me. The last one wasn't true, but it made me want to harm myself again because the truth was that Erik became disappointed in me when I had hurt myself. He told me I was beautiful, perfect, and his angel. Angels aren't supposed to feel that way or be hurt that way. They were to be worshiped by all. The talk mostly just hurt me; it felt wrong to be that way, to be normal. I reached for a vase of dying roses planning to smash it and use the pieces to maybe just make life better for everyone around me. Tears continued to pour down my face, then I felt a pair of arms wrapping themselves around my shaking form.

"Christine," the sound of his voice made me sob harder, "Angel, please let go of the vase." I released it and he put it up on the vanity again.

"Erik, did you hear them! Could you hear what they said about me? I shouldn't be in the opera anymore. They need someone more stable than 'Crazy Christine!' I don't know why you still care about me." I mumbled.

"Love, have you eaten today since your fruit with me this morning?" I shook my head no in despair, noticing he changed the subject. "Well, I figured as much so I brought you something."

"But-" He cut me off.

"No buts Christine, I wont have it. I want to see you perform and shine again. I want you to be happy. You can't be happy if you don't eat, if you don't eat, I can't let you rehearse. If you don't rehearse then the understudy will do the role, and no one wants to see the understudy. They want to see YOU."

"Erik, please listen to me I am in distress! I cannot work with those people. The whispers put me on edge! I can't eat with anyone either. I can't be judged anymore. I want to feel, I want happiness again, but the fear is far too overwhelming. I will eat. But I want to eat alone."

"I want you to know Christine, I love you, and I will do anything to make you feel more comfortable back up here in the opera house. Which is why I'm going to let everyone know that the Opera Ghost cares about the stability and well being of his Prima Donna. You have nothing to worry about." I stared at him with wide, wet eyes. Thumbing the rest of my tears away he said.

"As for your request to eat alone, I cannot let you do that. Especially since you almost broke a vase to hurt yourself. I thought we were done with that. It's been a month since your last accident." He gave me a hug and held me tight.

"I will eat with you, I will eat what you brought me. I will not take any of my meals with the other cast members. It's too hard." I sniffed.

"Angel, I by no means intend to make you eat where it makes you uncomfortable. I tell you again that I want my Christine to be happy, and do the things that I know she loves most. And that is being onstage, performing for me and your father, bless his soul."

He handed me the basket containing my meal: soup, bread, cheese and an apple. I pleaded with my eyes to make him reconsider the bread and cheese. He had his visible eyebrow raised and looked at me credulously. I sighed knowing I would have to eat everything. So I took my fate into my hands and began picking at the bread and eating it very slowly.

* * *

**A/N I am back and struggling with recovery. I have been harm free since before school started so its been almost a month! I am seeing a counselor while ****I'm at college and I love how many friends I actually have now that care about me and don't care what happened in my past. they just want to make my future better. (I am going to a christian university) anyway I'm back with a sequel. please review**


	2. Distraught Christine

Unspoken Fear Chapter 2

I managed to eat everything Erik had brought me, but I still didn't want to return to rehearsal at all. "Erik, please don't make me go back, can't we just have a lesson at your home?" I pleaded with him. Then the waterworks started again. "I can't go back. I can't."

"Christine," he hugged me to him, "You need to rehearse with the group. The more you keep hiding the more they will talk. Don't give them anything to talk about!" He wiped my tears. "You know, if you keep crying like this your nose will get all stuffy and you will end up with a cold." He handed me his handkerchief.

"I'm sorry, I'm just not myself right now. I need to rest. Can I sleep, then go to the night rehearsal?" There was a knock at my door.

"Christine? Are you in there?" Madame Giry called. "Please let me in child."

Erik went to get the door but I clung to him. "Christine, I must let her in."

"Don't let me go." My grip tightened on his coat.

"Very Well," He adjusted me and carried me to the door with him. "Madame, please do come in.

"Good heavens! Are you alright girl?"

"She is fine, simply didn't want to let me go." He smirked

"No, I'm afraid that if I let him go I'll have a panic attack!" I put my head into the crook of his neck.

"Will you be returning for rehearsal child? Or have you fallen ill?"

"Christine will be taking a rest and will return for tonight's rehearsal with the rest of the cast Madame. I will make sure of it that she is in good spirits and there will be no more rumors spread about. Oh, I have a note for the managers as well." Erik set me on the chaise before reaching into his coat pocket.

"Thank you Erik, I shall make sure the managers get this before rehearsals start. Get yourself together Christine, I shall send Meg for you when we are about to start." I nodded and she left my angel and I alone once again.

"I will rest, then I will rehearse, but if one thing bothers me Erik I am leaving. I will run to your lair and I will sing only for you forever. I can't guarantee that something will happen to me, I want you to understand." I meant every word I said as I stared him in the eyes. He sighed and brushed my hair away from my face.

"You won't have to run away because I will tell everyone that if they say a word about what's been wrong with you they will lose their job indefinitely. As for the singing, you already only sing for me. And I can guarantee you that I will prevent ANYTHING from harming you, even yourself." By this point our noses were almost touching. I didn't realize I had been holding my breath until I gasped air and moved away from him. I laid my head down on the pillow and reached for my Angel's hand as he moved away from me. "Keep the nightmares away, please Erik. Stay. And keep the nightmares away." I yawned and closed my eyes into what would be the first pleasant sleep in a long time.

* * *

**A/N Thanks for my reviews :) I love my university its so great! And I have a awesome support system too. I wasnt going to tell anyone my secret in the beginning but when I hadn't eaten in 5 days the first week of school...I told my RA and she got me into counseling here and its been great. So far. I've relapsed a couple of days and panic attacks when I eat more than 1 meal a day. Especially if its over 700 ****calories. Only one was so bad that I actually rid myself of food for the first time in 3 weeks. Its a small success that Ive gotten even that far. So, I figure Christine needs to completely get better too. BTW I'm 6 weeks harm free too. :D God has been so great to me, the school, the people he put at the school. I'm proud to say that I can beat this- off to gymnastic tryouts!**

**K.R.**


	3. Relapse

It was the most restful sleep I'd had in months. I awoke and not three minutes later there was a knock at my door. "Christine? Mother said you were sleeping, but if you're awake please let me in!" I quickly let Meg inside my dressing room.

"Is it time for rehearsal already?" I groaned.

"I'm afraid so Chrissy. The Opera Ghost came during ensemble rehearsals though with a threatening message saying if we stepped out of line, or gossiped about you, they would loose their jobs. I think it will go well tonight. You need to get ready practice starts in ten minutes." I buried my head in my hands.

"Meg, I can't do this. It's too hard. Even though the Opera Ghost threatened the cast it won't stop their dirty, skeptical looks at me." I whined as I put on my boots. "I don't want to be the prima anymore. Come on, I guess I should go face my fate." I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the stage.

"I messed up the cadenza, cracked on the build, and fell over a set piece. I will never get better." I continued my rant to Erik on our way to our home under the opera house. "Are you sure I'm really ready for this?"

"Christine, love, you need to calm down first of all, I saw and heard everything that happened because I was sitting in my box observing. Your voice was a little rough and that build is hard, we will work on that. As for your balance, I'm only teasing. I would have jumped to catch you if I could have." He reached for my hands to help me out of the boat.

"Erik, I just want to have things be the way they were before. Why is it so hard now? I've been eating again. Even though I feel so sick afterwards. Which reminds me, I ate with Meg and Madame on the stage in a corner, but I felt so panicked and upset I was being judged. I know I was. Why do people always have to judge? It's not fair." I started to sob. By this point Erik was trying to put me to bed.

"I think maybe, we should work on your feelings while you eat. Talk about them. Eat in larger groups before eating with everyone that way we can stop and you won't get sick. People shouldn't be judging you. I know it seems unfair to you, but it's reality. You've been sick and have to overcome this feeling. Does my plan seem better to you? He cradled me close to keep me calm waiting for my answer. I could only nod my affirmative afraid my voice would betray me.

"Now, how about you let me go and I'll go get our bedtime tea." I let him go thinking to myself about the days experience and how things would go once performances started. I would probably have another panic attack, I wouldn't be able to sing, I'd go into shock, and the possibilities were endless. I continued thinking the worst until my angel pulled me from my reverie.

"Are you alright Christine?" He handed my tea to me. "You seemed very far away."

"Hmm? Oh I'm alright, I was just thinking about the next week and then opening night."

"You are going to be spectacular, your voice will soar. I believe in you, I do more than that, I love you my little songbird." He took a sip of his tea. I was settled into bed for the night and it would be perfect as long as he was here with me.

I don't remember falling asleep, but I woke up in a cold sweat. Opening night wasn't that far away, and I couldn't feel my angel on the bed with me. I was freaking out so I grabbed the emergency knife in my undergarment drawer next to the bed. Erik would be mad at me but I was scared. I needed to know I was all right. I didn't feel anything. The blade grazed my leg lightly then I pressed it harder. I moved down my limb a little at a time finally reaching my ankle. I didn't know where my angel was or why he hadn't come to check on me yet. My mind was racing my leg was sticky. I snapped out of it when I heard someone turn the doorknob. I was so dead. My heart was pounding, I gasped when I saw Erik's silhouette in the doorframe.

"Erik?" my voice shook. He ran to my aid and lit a lamp. I put my head in my hands again waiting for his reprimand. He looked at the sheets and pulled them back quickly seeing the damage.

"Oh Christine," he sighed. Silently he moved from the bed to his medical supplies. Seeing the blood higher coming through my nightgown, he moved it aside and pressed his lips together in a thin line grabbing the brandy and the chloroform cloth. They must be deeper than I thought. The silence was frightening. I would be out of rehearsals and maybe even performances from this accident. He handed me a glass of the brandy and went to put the cloth over my face.

"Erik, I'm sorry, I didn't –"

"I have no words for this Christine," he cut me off looking at me with sad eyes" I don't even know how to keep this from happening! Am I not going to be able to leave you alone ever? I thought I was able to trust you now. Things were getting better. You started eating, you were cut free for a month!"

"Don't give me the chloroform Erik, I deserve to feel it." He looked at me as if I was mad.

"Christine, I don't want you to feel pain, you caused yourself enough of that doing this to yourself, I couldn't sew you up if I had to hold you still in fear of scarring you more than you already will."

"I'll be still, I promise."

"No, you might feel whatever pleasure you get from hurting yourself in the first place. I won't be an aid to that. Goodnight Christine, I will make you better in no time. I promise."

I breathed into the cloth that he held and watched him blur into the darkness.

**Sorry for the long wait on this chapter I had a block for a few days and gymnastics got my writing time. I haven't cut, but I've considered it the last few days, No I don't have my blades at school but I would use anything I could get my hands on if I could. Thanks for the reviews and the follows. I hope to keep you updated as soon as I can. I'm having issues eating in front of people so that's where Christine's problem is coming into play right now. No flames please! **

**K.R.**


	4. A new light

Unspoken Fear Chapter 4

I felt groggy and my vision wasn't clear. I thought maybe I had gone blind, and then there would be no more performing ever again if I couldn't see. Then the haze cleared and I turned my head to see my angel sitting beside me on the bed and felt his hand covering mine. I bent one leg to push myself upright but a searing pain prevented me from doing so, I hissed.

"Christine?" he turned and looked at me. "How is your pain? I gave you some morphine to try and make your leg bother you."

"Its fine," I lied. "Erik, I'm really sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for love." His hand brushed my cheek and I leaned into his gentle touch.

"Yes, I do Erik. I practically made you reassemble me. I panicked and I didn't know what to do. Now you're disappointed in me…." I wanted to cry but the tears wouldn't come. One of his hands lifted mine to his lips for a tender kiss and the other made me look at him.

"I'm only disappointed that you would return to hurting yourself just because you felt a certain way. What caused you to reach for the blade in the first place? And why didn't you tell me about that knife, we got rid of all the others for this very reason!"

"I was scared, Erik, I'm not ready to be the leading lady again. I want to stay here I've told you that countless times. I just need a break. I didn't tell you about the blade because of this very reason, I knew I might need one. I had woken up from a bad, no, horrid dream and felt the need to know it didn't really happen that I was alive and real. You weren't next to me so I panicked. I'm sorry Angel. He looked at me with sad eyes, maybe finally understanding what I wanted to do, or wanted from him.

"You won't be able to perform by the end of the week. Your leg won't be healed in time and walking on it is going to hurt like hell. Trust me. When I was fixing your leg you cut extremely deep in some places. I'm surprised you didn't bleed out from it." I hung my head in shame. "We are going to the country Christine, we are going to go away from the theatre, maybe travel a little if you are up for it when your leg heals. I think maybe the short time you had off wasn't long enough. I think I was pushing too hard. I want you to see love, that I care so much for you and I want you to trust me so much that you can scream, cry, or hit me with any emotions you have as long as MY Christine comes back to me. What do you say?"

A trip? My Erik wanted me to share with him the things I was feeling. Maybe he didn't hate me for what I had done to myself. I was having problems believing his words to me. "Where would we go?"

"I was thinking back to your home in Sweden, visit your mother, I know you haven't seen her since you were a small child. The area would do you some good for healing." He was sounding rather giddy about the whole thing.

"When?" I sighed, thinking of the last time I was with my father visiting my mother's grave.

"As soon as your scars heal enough for you to walk comfortably." I rested my head on Erik's shoulder, "Are you sure you don't want me to try to sing opening night? I can't believe what I've done, Firmin and Andre are going to fire me."

"No they won't Christine, you are their star, and I am the Opera Ghost. I can tell them of your accident and they will just have to postpone the show." My jaw dropped.

"But Erik! The theatre will lose money! I can't do that to all those people! I will be ready in I week I swear it!" He looked at me sternly, but I didn't flinch from him.

"You will stay in this bed Christine Anna Daae, so help me I will restrain you to it! Everything will be fine, you will not be performing, and I shouldn't have pushed you so fast. I think I only hurt you in the end. We will be going back to Sweden as soon as I deem you able and that is it. And I made us dinner. Are you hungry?" I nodded my sullen head in a response he didn't want to see. "Christine, you will eat, I know you are hungry." My stomach growled in the affirmative. Damn stomach, giving away the truth. Honestly, I was angry and happy all at the same time. I was feeling loved, and not all at the same time. I wanted to be angry, but my happiness was taking control of the situation. Maybe life would get better later. I didn't know. Erik had left me in the middle of my thoughts to retrieve our dinner. I was hungry and I promised I would eat. I felt most comfortable with him anyway. My mind began to wander, if Raoul had been here instead of Erik, would he have taken care of me? Would he have left me to suffer or die? I had no time to answer my questions because my Angel had just returned with my meal for the night. It smelled like it would taste all right but I was still wary of it. The voices in my head telling me to stop eating and put the fork down lessened when I ate with Erik. It's like they know that he would have control no matter what. My angel sat comfortably next to me on a chair and insisted on feeding me himself. I felt incompetent when he did that, however it made me feel better about eating it because I knew I wasn't the one putting the food in my mouth. He really cares about me. I wonder if he would ever get up the courage to want to court me. Or even marry me. I pushed the thought aside knowing that would never happen. He was too caught up in the music and wanting to make me better. Maybe he could learn to love me. "Erik?"

"Yes, Love?" His eyes were gentle and filled with concern.

"Will you sing for me? I'm full and cannot eat another bite. Please?" He smiled at me and nodded.

"Anything for my Angel."


	5. Unexpected Surprise

Unspoken Fear Chapter 5

The show was supposed to have opened today, I was sitting in Erik's living room waiting for him to come back for me. I had convinced him that I was fine to travel. My leg didn't hurt all that much and I needed to get away. I had no idea where Erik had intended for us to stay, but I trusted him. He had told me he needed to talk with the managers about my leaving. Of course they would let me go, the production had been put on hold and one of the Ballet's was put on instead. In all honesty when I had spoken with the managers myself they seemed relieved. Erik didn't like the though of me speaking with them alone, but Mme. Giry was with me in my dressing room. My Angel had carried my upstairs and set me on my chaise along with giving Mme. Giry a note saying to come and sit with me to make sure I would be all right. I was packed and anxious waiting for Erik's return. I began to hum to myself and daydream about my home in Sweden; I hadn't been there in so long… my Mamma was buried there, I was seven the last time I put flowers on her grave. I was smiling thinking about how life was before her and Daddy Daae were gone.

"Something has you really happy. I haven't seen you smile like that in ages. Are you really that happy to see me?" Erik returned without my noticing.

"Hmm? Oh, I was thinking about how my life was so different and easy before my parents died. And maybe I am happy to see you. Did the managers listen to the Opera Ghost?" I raised my eyebrow at him.

"As a matter of fact they did. You have a three-month leave of absence. Firmin and Andre thought the change in scenery would do you good as well. Meg is excited to be a soloist in the Ballet; I thought maybe we could stay here until after opening night. I thought you would like to see your best friend perform before we left." I stared dumbly at him; I was surprised, and excited to see Meg perform a soloist part.

"Thank you, Erik, all of this means so much to me. But how am I to make it to the theatre without you being seen? Or are you going to allow me to walk?" He moved to the hem of my skirt, raising his eyebrow at me asking permission. "Erik, you don't have to ask me, I'm fine. Go ahead and check the stitches." He was ever the gentleman if I ever met one. He nodded and moved my skirt up so he could see if the wounds were closed enough for the stitches to be removed and I could start walking again.

"The smaller ones seem to be looking all right. But the one up on your thigh I'm not sure those stitches should come out yet." I nodded in agreement and wondered.

"Can I at least try standing again? I think I'm getting sore from sitting and laying down." He moved himself beside me and wrapped one arm around my waist and took the other to take my arm around his neck. I felt ridiculous. I only had some scratches, not a broken ankle. Yet, he still handled me with such care, like I would break if he squeezed me too tightly.

"Christine, put all of your weight on me and then ease yourself onto your own feet slowly in case you can't hold yourself up alone. Ready?" I nodded. We stood together and I hadn't gained much weight so he was basically holding me himself. Little by little I put most of my weight on my good leg before putting pressure on the mutilated one. I chewed my bottom lip as I put more on my bad leg. "Christine, Breathe." I gasped for breath not realizing I had been holding it. Slowly still more pressure. The minute my eyes squeezed shut Erik had me up in his arms wiping the stray tear with his thumb. "Shh, it's going to be just fine, it's only been four days since the accident, these are going to need more time to heal. Regardless if you can stand tomorrow I will make sure that you and I are in Box five with our things packed and ready to leave as soon as you are finished talking with Meg after her performance.

I'm so weak, I won't ever be as strong as I used to be Erik, I still don't even know why you care for me even after all of this." I couldn't look at him. I played with my hands instead.

"Christine, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, I wanted to wait until we were in Sweden before I told you this," He cradled my head in one hand as he was still holding me with the other. "I love you Christine Anna Daae, I want to be with you forever, help you through all your struggles, I want you to know I am here for you always, you are beautiful, you are loved, and only the most loving God would give you a heart that you do. Its hiding and I intend to uncover it while we are gone. Your voice is like an angel; your body is gorgeous, no matter what you may think of yourself. I have taken care of you for most of your life while you were here living at the Opera House, I still do and I intend to until the day I die." There was no holding back the tears now. I let them fall, his words meant so much but, something was still trying to tell me he was lying. "Christine, I promise you, that you will get better, we will beat your demons together, and Antoinette has given us her blessing, I was going to pick up your ring tomorrow, but I felt you needed to hear my confession sooner. Will you be mine forever Christine?" I didn't know what to say. The man that was with me looked me in the eyes telling me he loved me and wanted to marry me. I nodded my head yes.

"Yes, Angel, my Erik, I love you too." Both of us had tears streaming down our faces and Erik pressed kisses to my cheeks, nose, forehead, and down to my lips. I had dreamed what this would feel like and never in my dreams had my heart felt such joy. I wanted to never let him go. I felt different somehow, not so empty. I think I really started believing that my angel really cared for me.

"Christine?" I looked at him with wide, misty eyes. "I think you need to rest, its been a long day, and I want to finish packing for tomorrow."

"Can I come with you Erik?" He looked at me confused. "When you get the ring?" He understood then and smiled at me the biggest grin I'd ever seen.

"Of course my Christine"

**A/N I realized after I posted chapter 4 I didn't post my note at the end! Things are rough, and I wanted Christine to feel a little more happiness in life because for the last few meetings at school for chapel – meets 3 times a week there is this boy who has taken interest in me. I think he may be the one. The last 6 chapels he seems to want to get to know me but I have a weird attachment style…Im hoping if we do get together I will have my Erik. Strong and supportive- no he doesn't have to propose- not anytime soon anyway, But Im still hanging on. Thanks for all the reviews! And I give you little fluff~**

**K.R.**


	6. Opening Night

Unspoken Fear Chapter 6

I slept a dreamless sleep. I felt rested when I awoke. I must have slept in a rather long time, as Erik wasn't there when I awoke. Our bags were packed and placed at the foot of the bed. I stretched and felt an uncomfortable pang up my leg as I pointed my feet. Meg would be dancing tonight and I knew she would be uncontainable as far as her excitement.

"Erik?" I called out to him.

"I'm coming Christine! Do you want afternoon tea?"

"Yes, that would be lovely. I want to ask you a question when you come in here." I heard him shuffle around and curse as a something clattered to the floor. I giggled to myself. He entered my room and I raised an eyebrow at him.

"I dropped a glass. I am fine though. What did you want to ask me?" He said, handing me the tea. I blew on it and took a sip before asking.

"I know walking is still out of the question but, can you take me up to Meg's dressing room? I am absolutely sure that she is driving everyone crazy with her excitement." I looked at him with the most convincing face that I was feeling well enough to go.

"Actually, I think that can be arranged. Her mother can't be with her to keep her under control, as the Corps needs another rehearsal before tonight. When would you like to go up? I can carry you through the old dormitories to her dressing room without being seen. And then slip you up to the box right before the last warning goes."

"I need to get dressed for the show, and I may need some assistance since I can't fully support myself," I blushed and looked down into my almost empty teacup. "But as soon as I'm dressed I'll be ready. If that's all right with you." I glanced up at him nervously. I had no reason to be nervous because he's seen me more indecent and revealing things before. But this just felt different.

"Of course I'll help you love," he took my face in his hands and I blushed. "What has brought this sudden color onto your cheeks? Are you afraid I'm going to steal you away from the world?" he chuckled and kissed my nose. "I have one more thing to do, I have a dress picked that I want you to wear tonight. If you will agree to it." I nodded and he left me momentarily. I lifted the box's lid and saw a gold satin dress with elaborate embroidery. I gasped at the expensive gift.

"Erik- I, Thank you." I smiled at him. I hadn't felt like this in so long. I felt wanted and loved. I hadn't felt that since before my father died. There was always an empty place in my heart. But it didn't hurt as bad right at this moment. "All right, Angel can you help me?" He nodded and I threw the covers down and my angel turned around as I changed into a clean chemise. Stockings irritated my stitches too much so I decided not to wear them; the skirt was long enough it wouldn't matter. The material was so rich and beautiful I couldn't imagine how expensive it must have been. Erik helped me into my corset, even though he said I didn't need one I argued with him and I won. The gold jacket was embroidered as well and then Erik gave me one more box. I took off the lid to see a matching hat with white and brown-gold feathers.

"Erik, this is beautiful! Thank you so much!" I reached to him for a hug. "I'll do my hair and make-up when I'm with Meg. Are you all packed and ready to go?"

"I am, I have something to do after I take you to the dressing room but I won't be far away." He reached under me and I put my arm around his neck and used the other to grab my hat.

"Lets go." I smiled at him and he placed a kiss on my forehead.

Meg was thrilled to see me and tell me all about her extra rehearsals that were long and exhausting. I could only giggle at her enthusiasm as I put the last finishing touches on my makeup. Meg was going on and on about her Pas de Deux partner and I was thinking about when I was Prima Donna and my extra lessons with Erik. That life seemed so long ago, I pulled a brush through my curls that I decided to leave down.

"Christine?" Meg caught my attention again, "Have you been all right? You seem different. Talk to me, I've told you all about what has gone on with me, but I know nothing of you lately. Mother will not tell me anything and says it's none of my business, but you are my best friend. Please?" I couldn't deny her the truth, she's basically my sister so I took a breath, and let out the truth.

"Meg," I hesitated, "I haven't been getting much better, and not a week ago I woke up from a nightmare and hurt myself, bad. Erik is taking me back to Sweden to visit my mother's grave and he hopes that the environment will help heal me. I have been eating, not a lot, but more than before. Meg, it's so hard."

"Can I see what you did to yourself Chrissy? I want to know, please show me. I know it has something to do with your leg, because you didn't walk in here you were carried. I want to help you. I'm tired of being left out of your secrets."

"I don't think that's a good idea right now Meg, I won't have you going onstage upset. This isn't pretty."

"I will be fine Christine, let me in. Please?" I reached for the hem of my skirt. I lifted my skirt to show her my leg. Meg gasped and gave me a bone-crushing hug.

"How on earth could you do this to yourself Chrissy?" She was near to tears; I knew I shouldn't have done this before her début performance.

"Meg, I don't know," my voice quivered. "I just need some time. Erik has told me that he loves me and promised to take care of me forever, he proposed the other night. I believe things may get better."

"Christine! That is wonderful! Where is your ring?!" Our moods suddenly changed to giddy excitement again.

"He's picking it up, I will probably have it after I watch your performance tonight." We were interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Miss Giry you are on in ten minutes." The stage manager announced.

"Thank you! Oh, Christine I'm so nervous."

"Meg, you will do wonderfully, I just know it." I gave her one last hug. "Now go Meg, I'll wait here, Erik is coming to take me to his box to watch the performance- I'll meet you after."

"Actually you won't have to wait, I'm here now." Erik smiled as he sauntered into the room. "I also have a surprise for you Christine," He knelt down in front of me taking my left hand in his. Meg was squealing behind him. "I know you already gave me a yes, but this belongs to you as well as my heart." He slipped the ring from his pocket onto my left hand. It had three diamonds and little swirls surrounding the stones on a gold band.

"Thank you Erik, I love it so much. Its unlike anything I've ever had. It's perfect." I started to cry and he thumbed away my tears. The lights dimmed and Meg gave me one more hug before going to the stage.

"I'm glad you like the ring, I know you asked me to let you come along to pick it up, however you wanted to spend time with little Giry so I took it upon myself to get it alone." He kissed my nose and lifted me from my chair in the dressing room and we headed to our seats in box five to watch Meg's debut performance.

Meg had danced beautifully and I was beginning to feel tired after the excitement that I'd had. Erik had noticed as well and we said our goodbyes to the Giry family and made our way to the carriage Erik had waiting to take us to the train that would get us to Sweden. All of our things were packed and ready and my angel put me into the carriage and I had fallen asleep on Erik's shoulder admiring my engagement ring.

**A/N Man, I had such a hard time with this chapter…I still don't like it let me know what you think. The dress is like the one from LND that is Anna O'Byrne's favorite. I also have a picture of the engagement ring too if you want to see a picture (you can also google "3 stone diamond yellow gold engagement ring" and find it as well. So no BF as of yet but he has made a very good friend just to have. Enjoy the Chapter. K.R.**


End file.
